LESSON ONE - ENJAMBMENT

Hi Poets,

Please check out these conversations and see if you can learn one or two tricks to add to your poetry writing.

Having lost my muse for several years I finally managed to put pen to paper. Hoping it is returning. My first ever without rhyme.

The moneyed vultures swoop down
And pick at the bones of the already dispossessed
With a glint in their eye.
Sycophantic familiars prepare the ground
Under the illusion of their own power
With guilt unperceived by the unsuspecting thralls
Who gaze at the remains with smug satisfaction
While the vultures return safely to their nest
To plan their next feed.

Jane Canning

Jace Williams • I agree with Carolyn, your images are great (and a little terrifying, but I'm guessing that's the point). 

If I could make one suggestion, it would be concerning line length. Enjambment can be one of the most useful, and underused, of poetic devices, and I think breaking up your lines (along with not capitalizing the first word of each line) will help the flow of the poem as a whole, as well as leaving readers with powerful words and phrases at the beginning and end of your lines. I hope you don't mind, but I've come up with an example (I've also deleted a word or two, to help with the flow): 

Moneyed vultures swoop down, 
pick the bones of dispossessed, 
a glint in their eye. 
Sycophantic familiars prepare ground, 
under illusion of their own power, 
with guilt unperceived 
by unsuspecting thralls 
who gaze at remains with 
smug satisfaction. 
The vultures return safely to nest, 
planning the next feed. 

With capital letters at the beginning of each line, I assumed that it was a new line, which made the poem a little difficult for me to read. If you put your best images at the beginning or end of a line, you can emphasize them. Also, if you put a little more focus on the number of syllables, and stressed syllables, I think it will also help with the flow. 

Great work!