Sunday, 11 April 2021

POEMS READ AT OUR LAST POETRY READING LOUDTHOTZ POETRY OPEN READING SEASON 12 EPISODE 4 GAIN

 

WINNER POEM OF THE MONTH ANITA OGUNI


GAIN – (poem of the month)

 

I hate – really hate the way those words bounce off your oval shaped mouth 

 

Cruel. Sharp. Sharp. 

 

They slice through me so deep. I feel it in my heart and then I bleed 

 

But

 

At least you look at me

 

Talk to me so I love it

 

I choose to love it

 

I can’t stand the way everything about me is filled with everything about you

 

Finding myself

 

Groping my way 

 

Sadly still reaching for you – your hands

 

Coarse. Cold. Cold. 

 

Breathing your own air and then losing me over and over again 

 

But

 

At least I feel you 

 

You let me feel you so I love it

 

I choose to love it 

 

I hate the way the claws of your love hold me down, determined to suffocate me

 

I hate the way you take

 

Take

 

Take

 

Take

 

Take and take

 

Leaving me with less or maybe even nothing 

 

Loss is the only gain in loving you.

 

ANITA OGUNI 

 

 

////////////////////////////////

 

WEIGHTLESSNESS (2) – (worthy of mention)

 

This intimacy we share

Makes me long for all of you

The mornings and the evenings

To wake up and reach for you and find you tucked safely in a corner of my life

 

The warmth of Your voice 

Like the early morning rays 

Soothing 

 

Your hands 

How I long to interlace my fingers with yours and assure you that I’ve got you

 

Resisting the urge to stay aloof when we are together is a testament to my strength

 

You know this

 

I see how you struggle too

No one else can see it

Just you and me

 

The dance

How we tread softly around 

These age old feelings

That have become part of our lives

 

 

We have tried 

To stay away from each other 

You know this

Yet

 

Everyday

I find myself longing to reach you

Talk to you

Share with you

Laugh with you

See you

 

Every single time

It’s the same

The ease that is

The magic that lies beneath

The bubbling excitement of being close to you

I want dearly to have free reign over your body

To grab you by your slim waist and mould you to me 

To hold you deliberately close 

So you can hear how my heart beats

For you

 

I am naturally me with you

With you I fly

Because you give me wings

 

But what is my gain

If I take you and lose my soul

The soul to give you the purest part of me

The innocence of platonic friends 

 

I strive to be the best friend to you

To be there for you

To pick your calls at midnight and speak calm into your troubled mind

 

I cherish those moments we spend 

In deep meaningful conversations 

Sharing wisdom

Exchanging knowledge 

Acknowledging depth

You are deep

As I am

 

Sometimes I try to imagine that you

Are my twin

This connection is so...

There

 

You 

Don’t know what you do to me

Your essence

How it curls around my entire being 

And warms my heart ever so tenderly 

 

You 

Outstandingly beautiful 

In your very own skin

You are comfortable 

Do you realize how rare that is?

 

 

You confound me sometimes 

I find myself gasping for air

Trying to find my feet in the sweet waters of your ever present likeness

 

You 

Smart mouth

Always ready to banter

My steady

Ready laughing partner 

 

You get me

You get it

You get? 

 

But 

I’ll rather take the pockets of joy

That your presence can afford

Than set us up for a disastrous end

You know how much I want to be with her

How much she wants me

I will never take your friendship for granted 

Even if I have to bear this burden of loving you from the sidelines 

For what will be my gain

If I lost you and lost her?

Then lose myself in the misery of loss?

 

If I’ve never said it before 

If it has never been clear to you

I’ll tell you

I think of you in the warmest ways

I am happy to have you in my life

And this is all because when I think of what love is, can be

It is you

You’re the one 

That got away. 

 

KEMIBON 

 

//////////////////////////

UNTITLED WIN                                                         

 

There exists a disability of the mind,

a continuous paralysis that turns innocence into a vegetable.

There is no such thing as “simple”, and there’s another level 

of beauty that darkness paints on its canvas of pains.

There is a knot in every mind, a thing made up of confused shoe laces.

There is a nut in every mind; a vicious empirical kind of crazy 

that seeks to insert straws in ventricles so it can suck, and suck,

And to keep sucking till blood becomes breeze.

 

There is a pandemic in the mind,

A parasitic, spiritual colonization of body, soul and head.

A disease that answers questions with confusing answers, 

A morbid state of confused worship and wordless prayers.

Here, laughter is a trigger and playlists become gunshots.

Peace now turns into an animal obsessed with vagabond expressions.

 

But! 

There’s a healing for every bleeding,

and to every heart aching is a form of wholesome baking.

There’s always a blissful remembrance after a hellish obituary.

To every loss of truth, loss of love and loss of losses,

there’s always a meaning that comes with deeper lessons;

A form of reliving after several death sentences.

 

Now, your ears and heart are in a choreography,

performing in a ballet of hope

‘cause somewhere you know you are a survivor of tombs,

A municipal breakthrough regardless of mental graves,

A heavy baggage of conquered battlefields.

You have become your own gain, 

the worthy Grand Commander of your MIND’s republic.

 

Now, whenever you hear the colloquialisms of the streets 

in the shouts of “who dey breathe?!!!”

Don’t bother yourself with a loud response

Just whisper it to your MIND and say “na me!”

 

 Samora Akinbulumo

 

///////////////////////////////

WHERE'S SHE?

 

THE FEES WE DESERVE

*THE LAWS WE DEMAND*

 

There are lots to write

There are lots not right

Everything is trembling

Prices are increasing

Rice is scare

Hunger is well known

Poverty is a name

 

Nothing is going well

Grew up and taught

Our future begins now

When there's life there's hope

 

Can we bear this struggles

Sufferings everyday

When there are better hands to hold

Graduate doesn't have a place

 

The rich are getting rich and they can't reach out

The poor are getting poorer and they cant pour out

Selling out our tender children for better days

Maltreated and mocked cause we cant meet standards

 

They will always say "School is the priority"

When nothing comes out from it 

Trade, prostitution, robbering, kidnapping, hacking and hawking becomes our goal

 

She got independence

But it still seems like she still in dependence

Colonized by strange people

Now colonized by familiar people

The same people she pays her dues

 

Politics is now a game of monetary value instead of proper government

She have been rated for her negativity

There's no space but there's space for commisioners' child

Inflation and deflation has become common race to follow

 

She has lost the vows, promises and paths she took, sang and represent

There's no more motherland because theres no care, love, attention and positive gains rather pains

 

Talents are gradually wasting

Education isn't heard,seen or noted

Certainly this JOURNEY HAVEBEEN SO FAR

Indeed its been a DELAYED JOURNEY

The TIME fastening ticks and it been thick

 

Definitely WE LAY ON THE DELAY

IT AINT EASY but JUSTICE MUST BE SERVE

CORELATION should be put down

Its been a SUDDEN PAUSE

Certainly all the STORIES WILL TURN TO GLORIES

 

CYNTHIA MADUEKWE (#CyanahPEN)

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////

THE RACE WE RUN 

 

Gathering all we can

Insatiable are our cravings

The haste is increasing

As we colour our world with inventions

Most have dreams which once realized expands 

A never ending spiral

Leading to new highs and lows 

The wants and needs are real 

As real as the invisible air we breathe

There is no stopping

We can't wake up and say 

Hey!

We have had enough of this air

Unfortunately some do

And many may be thinking it

As I write this

And even as you read it now

Every new born day

We must move

To chase our realities

Noble or otherwise

There is always a plan

Even when there is no plan 

As we journey through life

Counting our gains and losses

As each one gets to its bus stop

The only real gains colours the soul

 

IFEANYI OKWOSHA

/////////////////////////////

GAIN:

 

My fingers know how

to make profit

My hands know how

to fight

 

I am godly and content

Though there is a woe;

a sort of anathema pronounced

on sloth- like complacency 

 

There is never anything good to say

about lazy, laidback and stupid behaviour.

 

Behaviour and not people

We wouldn’t want to abnormally

use people by claiming them as loss

leading centres who bring no gain

or profit to the enterprise called life.

 

We wouldn’t want to trivialise

their humanity by reducing them

to moveable parts, only worthy

of note because they turn a profit. 

 

Not that gain and profit are things

to be sniffed at.

 

We might not be greedy,

grasping capitalists,

but we are not socialists

either

 

We are 'down' with profit margins

and 'barons' who rob within a severely restricted scope.

 

We are in Bush’s words,

'compassionate capitalists'!

 

A somewhat oxymoronic concept,

right up there with trickle down,

as in trickle down economics

and not water trickling down

in consonance with the rules of physics.

 

Just indicating that the 'dismal science'

Is dismal and not subject to physical laws, being in real terms a social science.

 

Let's conclude that only godliness

in concert with contentment is the combination that generates not only gain, but great and humongous gain.

 

The prosecution rests!

 

ANDREW WHYTE

///////////////////////////////////

BENEATH FAITH'S TASTELESS ARM

 

A million breath never fills the longing for air
It needs and keeps taking and taking
For every life is strung to this insatiable
Need to Take, to Posses, to Become.

Life is a walking bouquet of fallacies
The limitlessness of thought gravitates
Against the brute solitariness of Realism
Hacked in the pursuit of the " What Ifs".

I question the possibilities of floating
In Deep empty waters held only
By a tiny seed called Faith
And I wonder how much it can give.

Well, I awoke to a numb stripped purse
Full of Grace and nothing More
But I can promise that this fate isn't mine
For the cold sky spreads over me one last time.

What is left after life struck me hard?
More love to give, and little oil for my lamp
And my old Soul drinks in the ample presence
Of the creator at the mating of Time and Essence.

To think that I have been there, done that
And left to die on the edge of my incertitude;
Barely hanging on like a midnight cigarette
Slowly believing in the ashes of a spoken word.

Now I crave even more to Become
For this pursuit now leverages in the "Why nots".
Every strike must be tied to a gain
Else, we drown in the fullness of empty significance.

The eyes of Judas is like swiftness in the mud
Like pursuit of greatness in the city of worms
For every take we give, we sow for a taking
So we let Grace walk free without question, without cards.

-AMARA BASIL

/////////////////////////////

BEYOND OUR BODIES 

 

Out here

on this sombre bridge

we walk on edges

holding barns that never get full of deposit

 

Of this menace

 we talk to spirit 

casting petition 

with whiskering hope 

that our rendition will plunge the heart of gods

 

We live in partition (season & time)

rising up like apparition 

we try hard to forget the nightmare of our doom

we lose count of times the spirit smiled at us

how can we bear this earth song chiming fire at us? 

 

Of night and day

we scavenge in the wild

the odour of the earth with its blandishment woo us to a mime 

how shall we escape the plunders of the earth? 

that  siege us into walls

& memorize us  into frames like artifacts

 

The earth is a whore 

that tame us on tongue with rancid taste of desires

of this adventure 

we are whittled down into silence

peeled gradually into our own decay. 

 

Out here 

on this sultry land 

we walk on sand

holding barns that never get full of deposit 

 

& of this body 

we become flaccid

unable to survive the choke slam

& like ash

we evanescence out of earth's mirror

 

 

©The Pen Healer

///////////////////////////////////

 

 

DEVOURED

 

In the dark depth of a perilous place,

the evil ones laid.

With snarls on their faces,

and evil in their hearts,

laying ambush in the shadows,

relentless and wild in their

search for a delicate prey.

 

Here she comes, the tender child,

striding unknowingly to her doom,

with each step bringing her 

close to her predators.

 

Like a Tiger, they pounced on her,

as her eyes went wide with terror.

Down to the earth she was pinned,

and one by one, they all took their turns,

making a feast out of her,

while ignoring her wails of anguish.

 

Bravely, she tried to fight, but all to no avail,

as her attempts of battle fired up their  

adrenaline to cause more havoc on her.

 

Done with their savagery, they all slithered away,

with triumphant smiles on their faces.

On the ground she laid, the devoured child,

with her tears and blood flowing, like an ocean

which overflows its bank.

 

Overcome with exhaustion, she struggled to rise,

once she tried, again she strived, until she gave up,

resigning herself to fate.

How long she laid there, every second agonizing,

until death came creeping, inch by inch,

until she was taken away by it's cold grip.

 

The story of the Devoured child.

Dedicated to all, victimised by rape.

The Peaceful Writer

 

 

Ugwuegbu Peace Everest

 

/////////////////////////////

GAINS AND LOSSES

 

And did you fall a shooting star,

Blazed across my sky

Then disappeared . . .

Did not know where you journeyed from

Or what your mission was

That you came from far away gloom

That you were only a part of falling debris.

But you looked so rare and flashed so bright

I did not know that you are only one of millions

Now i know you shone so bright because i was in darkness

I am free now, I am in light now

The shock of your loss

Made me see I am brighter than you

 

Chisom

 

//////////////////////

 

REAL GAINS OR NOT

 

You gain nothing from the sweet drizzle that tickles the plants.

Or the soft sun under which butterflies dance

The trees may sway in the cool breeze

But inside you sneeze

Your AC at 16 degrees

Working, sipping and pecking 

You enjoy none of Natures treats

 

You miss your baby's first steps

Your child's first day of school

You miss birthdays and anniversaries too 

You think by providing money it's all cool

You're alive but you died too soon

Gone with the demands of the ROOM

You didn't notice when the tortoise left it's shell

When the chicken learnt how to fly

Or when the ostrich began to

confidently hold it's head up high

You didn't notice till life passed you by

No warning

No goodbyes

 

While some count gains by adding extra zeros in the bank

Others by their family name climbing in rank

Some cherish awards and certificates on the wall

But some don't bother counting anything at all

A rare few still count memories that birth smiles

that make life worth the while

So I ask what to you are gains?

Please take your time to explain.

For as you tally your score

I just might learn a little bit more

 

 

Erhieyovwe.

 

 

 

 

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